93) A lot can change in a year

L: E in February 2018, R: E in February 2019

 

This morning, Google Photos notified me of a new "Rediscover this day" memory from last year. In February 2018, we were right in the middle of Delayed Intensification II, E was neutropenic, and his hair had fallen out for the second time. He looked so frail, so sick.

Contrast this with now, February 2019, where we are in the middle of Cycle IV of Long Term Maintenance. We're chugging along, he looks healthier, and he has hair. In fact, we've had to cut it about 3 or 4 times since it started growing back a little more than a year ago.

Delayed Intensification I and II are awful. They do a number on our children. They look unwell, they feel unwell, and there are a number of chemo drugs with some frightening potential side effects. From a parent/caregiver point of view: you're trapped in a form of isolation, and there are plenty of dark days and dark thoughts.

In the vein of my recent post about positivity vs. negativity, please let this picture be a beacon of hope for anyone who may be barely scraping by during DI. You'll come out the other side of this. Things will get better. You probably don't hear this enough, and there are definitely days when you don't feel it, but you are a rock star. You are doing a great job as a parent/caregiver. There's no instruction manual for how to go through something like this, so you're doing what you can to push through, to do for your child what needs to be done, and you need to be saluted for your efforts.