62) cancerversary

Last Sunday, July 22nd 2018 was E's one year cancerversary. In my previous post, I had stated we had wanted to do something to take back the awfulness of that day. We had decided on a family BBQ at my in-laws' house. The weather forecast for the weekend looked a bit sketchy, but we were hoping for the best. In an act bordering somewhere between pathetic fallacy, and deliberate sabotage, we awoke to find that the weather was not co-operating, and we were in for a day of rain. We postponed the BBQ, but still ended up going to my in-laws' house for dinner just to get ourselves away from the same four walls. It wasn't quite the celebratory day I had hoped for, but it also wasn't a "sit-around-and-feel-mopey" day either. I was still thinking about diagnosis day, verbally noting a few specific times, such as when we received the phone call that would forever change our lives, and when we received the news from the SickKids ER staff. I think I drove my wife a little batty with my observations, so sorry babe if you're reading this.

I also made a post to Facebook about the day, and I'm going to put it here for posterity's sake:

Today, on the one year anniversary of his leukemia diagnosis, we celebrate this little superhero for enduring countless amounts of blood work, needles, hospital visits, appointments, chemotherapy, and more. His hair has grown back enough that we took him to get it cut yesterday. He's such a strong, happy, smiley little guy, and even though it's a long process, we will ring that bell! #believe #FVCKcancer

61) That awful day

On Sunday July 22nd, 2018, we will mark the one year anniversary of E's leukemia diagnosis.

In the past couple of weeks, I've found myself thinking back to July 2017. I've had "On This Day" reminders pop up in Google Photos, where I'd taken pictures at family outings, or get-togethers. When I see E in those photos, all I can think is that he looks so yellow, he looks terrible, he looks sick. I remember the yellowing of his skin, and at the time dismissing it, and chalking it up to too many orange coloured foods. I look at ourselves in the photos, and I see a happy young family who had no idea about the horrors that were barreling toward us at breakneck speed. I see the last bits of our lives before cancer changed things forever.

Thankfully, and luckily, the leukemia was caught when we brought him to a pediatric chewing and swallowing specialist about a completely different issue. If that had never happened, he would have eventually been diagnosed, but I don't know in what time frame. E was asymptomatic at diagnosis; no apparent bruising, no extra tiredness, no weakness, no fever, just a cold that lasted a couple of weeks, and the yellowing skin. I don't beat myself up over it, but I suppose I'll always feel a twang of guilt for him being diagnosed in a roundabout way. That being said, would even the most worrywart, "Chicken Little" parent have even guessed cancer from their child having a cold & yellowish skin?

One year ago tomorrow, my wife and I were driving home after E had what we thought was routine bloodwork because the pediatric specialist thought he might be anemic. Two things happpened en route: 1) despite E's sensory issues to food textures, we discussed how lucky we were to have two healthy boys. And 2) we stopped at Real Canadian Superstore & were greeted by a SickKids volunteer who was soliciting monthly donations. We were already monthly donors, so he thanked us, and we continued along our way, unaware that we'd be on our way to that very hospital in just 16 short hours. I've written about them previously, but to this day, those two things still haunt me to my core.

One year ago this coming Sunday, we received phone calls from two separate doctors who told us to get to SickKids with our son E for further testing. It would be the beginning of our nightmare known as childhood leukemia.

Flash forward to today, almost one year on from diagnosis, and E's leukemia seems to be responding well to treatment. He's a happy little guy. His hair has grown back. He seems to be hitting all of his development milestones, but it's still tough. I hate he's had to go through this. I hate that we're going through this. I hate that our families, and friends are all going through it too. I'm not sure what we're going to do on Sunday, but I'd like to do something. It doesn't have to be big, or grandiose, but I'd like to do something so that we own the anniversary of that awful day, rather than it owning us.

60) "Teh Sicks"

It's been a rough couple of weeks around here. We've had a couple waves of "Teh Sicks" sweep through our household.

I can probably trace the beginnings of it back to about the middle of June; J had been extra tired, extra whiny, and his appetite had cratered. Skip ahead to the last Monday of June, J woke up, vomited in his bed, and was home sick for four days.

I picked it up on the Thursday, and played host to this awesome summer stomach bug for four days over the Canada Day long weekend. There wasn't a whole lot of vomiting, but it left me feeling exhausted, and constantly nauseous for about a 4 day stretch.

Almost immediately after Canada Day, J came down with croup, and few days later I picked up a scratchy throat and a bad head cold.

On Wednesday July 4th, E was given his weekly dose of methotrexate, but also seemingly picked up the stomach bug. It's impossible to know for certain because he's only 2, and he can't tell us how he feels. He vomited on a daily basis, unless we gave him a dose of ondansetron every 8 hours. We brought it to the attention of his oncologists after it went on for a few days, but they weren't overly concerned since he was able to eat and drink provided we gave him the anti-nausea medication. They seemed to think that it was likely nausea from the methotrexate that was exacerbated by a virus. E seems to be over "Teh Sicks" now, but he's picked up a cough, and an unbelievably runny nose. Go buy some shares in Kleenex.

Now, my wife has come down with the stomach bug, and she's been nauseous, and exhausted for a couple of days. She might have one more day of symptoms before they start to lift, if her symptoms follow my pattern. Even then, there's a day or two ramp-up to get yourself back to feeling 100%.

We stayed fairly healthy throughout most of the traditional cold & flu season this year, only to get nailed in the summertime, when it's usually a low time for circulating germs. Here's hoping for a germ-free remainder of summer '18.